The Akatsuki Corner
Down Santa Clause Lane
The camera doesn't zoom in on a stage this time. It's stationed outside a rather large-looking cave house thingy. Snow is falling slowly around, covering the ground in blankets of white. A few windows are visible, candles seated in front of them, casting a frosty glow on the glass. There are colorful lights blinking around the roof and a snowninja by a tree.
It zooms in on the front door, where a sign is hung. On it, in sloppy letters, is 'Welcome To The Akatsuki Hideout! Merry Christmas! Love, Tobi and Deidara!' Angel sweat drops, turning the knob and stepping onto the large snowman rug in the front hall.
The warm air makes her shudder slightly, shrugging off her coat and peeking around a corner. " Boys?" She motions for the camera-man to follow, but bent low to whisper. " Hi everyone, don't worry, I won't be doing the show, Pein gave me permission to use the hideout for our Christmas special. Apparently, Tobi and Deidara really got into the Christmas spirit." She smiles, continuing down the hall and looking through a larger doorway, blinking at the sound of 'white christmas' by Shania Twain.
Through it was what looked to be a living room. A towering pine tree stood in the far right corner, a ladder beside it and a grunting Deidara holding onto it with one hand and reaching for the top of the tree with his other. Tobi, his own hands gripping the metal contraption so his senpai wouldn't fall over, turned his head to see who had walked in.
Itachi was curled up on the couch beside Kisame, book in hand and black eyes scanning the pages. Kisame yawned, turning blue-gray eyes to watch as Angel stared at them in shock. Hidan was lighting candles, threatening Kakuzu by telling him he'd light up his strings if he didn't help.
Angel chuckled, covering her mouth. It looked almost......homey. " Wow, no one would ever guess you guys were cold-blooded killers."
" Angel-chan?" Tobi tilted his head, " What brings you here?"
" The show wasn't supposed to be until tomorrow." Hidan groaned.
" What are you complaining for, un?" Deidara snorted, hopping down from the ladder. " You haven't even appeared yet."
" It gets you and Tobi out of the house, doesn't it?" Kakuzu muttered, writing something down on a piece of paper. Deidara pouts, walking to stand next to Sasori, who was making what looked to be a duplicate of Santa Clause.
" Er....you didn't kill him yet, did you Sasori-chan?" Angel asked meekly, walking up to stare at the strange likeness.
Red eyes blinked up at her. " Of course not. But I saw him in a book Deidara left open." He shrugged, not saying much else before going to sit on one of the many couches. Tobi opened a cardboard box, peering inside before smiling.
" Senpai! Look, more ornaments!"
Deidara bounced back to the tree, shoving his hand into the box and taking out large red and gold glass balls. Angel took a seat beside Hidan, who had long-since finished his candle lighting duties. " Pein said we could film here today, since you all wanted a day off." She smiled, pulling her legs up and sitting cross-legged on the couch. " Plus, your fans would love to see you all in your natural habitat."
Itachi looked up from his book, " Like the fact that they're not quite as noisy off stage as they are on?" His eyes went back to the book. Kisame chuckled, setting his arm on the back of the couch behind Itachi's head.
" It makes our life so much more interesting though." Deidara smiled, back on the ladder and hooking a fox ornament on the tree.
" Deidara-senpai promised to dress up as a naughty elf tonight!" Tobi called out.
" I did not you idiot!" Deidara snarled, launching a ball at him. The black-haired ninja caught it with a laugh, beaming up at his blushing partner.
" You looked cute."
All eyes, even Itachi's, landed on Sasori, who was sipping at a steaming cup of tea. He didn't look up, just peered down into the liquid. Deidara sputtered, twirling his fingers before coughing. " Does danna-sama want me to wear it?"
(This is were fangirls go wild at Deidara's cute 'if master wants it' face.)
Sasori seemed silent for a moment, as was the rest of the room, waiting for the mans revelations. He gave his younger partner an odd look, " Would you?"
The blonde blushed before nodding slightly.
" Neee, would you like me to help you put it on?" Angel and Tobi asked at the same time. The two exchanged looked across the room before both sprang up, grabbed Deidara's arms and dragged him out of the room.
" Ah..well I'm glad I brought the camera...." A whispered female voice muttered from the doorway.
" Konan." Kisame smiled, " What brings you downstairs. Pein didn't kick you out did he?"
" No." Konan waved the camera at them, " He'll be down later, I was ordered to take pictures." She took a seat in Angel's previous spot. Hidan peered at the small device in her hands.
" Does Jashin-sama like that?"
" How should we know?" Kakuzu snorted from his side of the room. Reaching over and pressing the skip button on the stero.
All I want For Christmas By Mariah Carey plays as the camera blacks out and shows a series of flashing pictures. From Hidan standing up on the roof with blinking lights twisted around him, Kakuzu laughing at him before receiving a snowball. Tobi, Deidara and Sasori making a snow-ninja, Itachi watching from a stump as Kisame picked up the snow, turned it to water and then made it snow again on Itachi's head.
The screen returns to the Akatsuki's living room, where a large batch of cookies and hot chocolate are sitting on the table. Itachi sets his book beside it before looking at the camera. " I didn't want to be on the next show." He grunted.
" Why not?" Konan muttered, " Did something bad happen?"
" Kisame had sex with him." Hidan yawned, leaning back and ignoring Kisame's 'I did not!' and Itachi's scathing glare.
Konan lifted a blue eyebrow slowly, the corners of her lips twitching upwards, " Kisame-san......I thought you were going to wait."
Everyone except for Sasori, Itachi and Kisame started laughing. Pein walked in, a red and green blinking elf sweater on his body. The laughter doubled. Kisame joined in this time.
Itachi snatched his book back and buried his face into it. Kisame scooted away from him, perching his elbow on the armrest and smirking at Pein, who did not look any more amused than Itachi. Konan snapped a picture, sending her friend a small smile. " You look...."
" Festive." Hidan snickered, cowering with another giggle under Pein's glare.
" I forced him into it." Konan shrugged, snapping one of Hidan rolling on the floor laughing. She took one of Itachi reading(or not reading) his book. " Come on Itachi-kun, it was a joke." No reply, " You enjoy your time with Kisame-san don't you? You even smiled when he made it snow on you."
Itachi's fingers tightened on the book before glaring over it's top. " You don't have proof."
She waved the camera at him, his eyes widening. Kisame gulped, feeling Itachi's eyes on him. " Er....yes Itachi?"
" Get it."
" But...It's not-"
" ZETSU-CHAN!" Angel's voice echoed down the hall, making them all jerked in their seats. Kakuzu looked up.
" Oh...that's who we were missing."
" How are you faring Angel-chan?" "Ah ah. Crazy red-head with hate for spiders is a no-no." Zetsu and Angel walked in, the red-headed woman's arm laced with his white side.
" I'm doing fine, but you have to join the festivi-" She trailed off, watching as Pein turned around to face them. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth as a snort came out. " I...nice....nice sweater Pein-sama." She swallowed the laugh, letting go of Zetsu and backing into the hall. " I'll just go see if Deidara's....yea." Then she was gone.
Konan patted the seat beside her, " What are they doing to Deidara?" She asked as Pein took the offered seat.
" Dressing him up in a naughty elf costume." Hidan snickered, reaching from his spot on the floor for a cookie on the gingerbread platter. " Sasori wanted it."
Pein gave the red-head, who had been silent since he'd arrived, an odd look. Sasori shrugged, dipping his cookie in his coco and biting off the head. He chewed silently as Pein watched him in horror. " I've never seen them so....."
" Weird?" Angel supplied, popping from out of nowhere and bending between Pein and Konan.
" Are you done?" Zetsu asked, " Is there skin showing?"
" Yep, he's all nice and....elf'd." Angel smiled, spinning around on her feet. " For your entertainment tonight, I give you 'Naughty Elf Deidara!' " Tobi bounced in, helping Angel with the wave of arms as Deidara stepped into the room.
His hair was down, was the first thought Sasori had before red eyes trailed down. It was green, red, ripped and outlined in white fur. The shirt ended at his elbows, fishnet picked up and connecting to the green and red stripped thigh-length skirt.
" You're in boots." Hidan stated stupidly.
" He actually looks pretty good." Kakuzu mused, draping an arm over the back of his chair.
" Blond looks edible." Zetsu tilted his head, " Why, yes, yes he does."
Deidara blushed, a glare forming. " Okay, you've all had your fun, can I change back now?" He paused as Sasori stood up, walked to the Santa clause puppet, took the red hat off, walked back across the room and dropped in onto Deidara's head.
His head cocked to the right. " You look cute."
" Oh this is rich." Konan snickered, snapping away with her camera, Tobi and Angel laughing behind her. Tobi gasped, clapping his hands together.
" Tobi has a surprise!" He rushed out, was gone for a good five minutes before returning with brown clothes on and a pair of reindeer antlers atop his head. And in the center of his orange mask, was a red blinking nose.
Angel squealed, grabbing onto the Tobideer as Konan started snapping away again. " I have a story for everyone!" He bounced around, picking up an old notebook and grinning as everyone just stared at him. " Okay, here goes."
" 'Twas the night before Christmas,and all through the hills, Not a creature was stirring, not even a weapons were set, by the chimney with care,in hopes that St. Whats-his-name,soon would be there.
Each member was nestled together in bed, while visions of Jinchūriki danced in their heads. And Konan in her nighty and Pein in his cap(does he even wear those?) Had just settled down for a long winters nap.
(We're not bears dammit!)
When out in the middle of nowhere, there arose such a clatter, Pein slouched from his desk, to see what was the matter. To the window, he went with a yawn, fought with the lock and the screen spun, The moon was sparkling on the sand below, gave the....what's it to whatever on objects below.
And what to his spiraling eyes should appear? A really big frog and eight tiny frogdeer. With a weird looking driver, who looked drunk, but quick, He knew in a second it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than tornado's, his courses they came, he whistled and shouted and called them by name, 'Now, One-tail, Now Two-tail, Now Three-tail and Four-tail, On, Five-tail, On six-tail, on Shukaku and Kyuubi! To the top of the stone! To the top of the wall, Now hop away! Hop away! Hop away all!'
As dry leaves before the hurricane fly, when they meet with a large rock, they mount to the sky. So up to the cave top the courses they flew, with a frog full of.....what? And what's-his-name too.
And then in irritation, he heard on the roof, the suction and gunk of each little foot. As he turned from the window and was going back down, Down the chimney St. Nick came with a bound.
He was dressed in fur, from his head to his foot, and his cloths were covered with ashes and soot. A bundle of bodies-cough-toys, he had flung on his back, And he looked like a thief just opening his pack.
His eyes, out of focus! His dimples, how merry, His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was covered with a black bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the....wait...they didn't have snow.
There was a pipe that he held with his teeth, and the smoke of it surrounded his head like a wreath. He had a thin face and a really small belly, that didn't even shake like a bowl full of jelly. He was well-built and defiantly not plump,a right jolly old elf and Pein heard Itachi snort in spite of himself.
Then, with a wink of his eye and a turn of his head, soon gave them to know, they were so royally dead. He spoke not a word, but went straight to work, filled up the socks and then turned with a jerk. And giving them a thumbs up then wrinkling his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he sprang to his frog, to his team rang a bell and away they flew like a bat out of hell.
But they heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Merry To Christmas to all! Damn, Naruto was right!'
There was silence before Kisame walked forward and peered at the old sock with his name on it. He lifted an eyebrow and turned to look at Itachi and the others, who were inspecting their own new stuff. " Was that Jiraiya?"
Pein turned back to his stairs with a grunt, " Yep."
Crickets began chirping in the background.
Itachi finally deemed them ready for his presence again, for he set the book down. " How about telling a real story to our audience?" Tobi huffed while He pushed his book towards Pein, who gave him a puzzled look. " Read it to us." he then, picked up his coco, cupped it between his hands and returned to his spot curled up in Kisame's side.
Angel nudged Tobi and Deidara to take their seats, Deidara sitting beside Sasori, Tobi at their feet and Zetsu beside him in front of the tree. Pein picked up the book as Angel sat down beside of the fireplace, he turned to the cover an 'ahhhhed'. " A Christmas Carol?" He gave Itachi a look, " I didn't know you even knew the meaning of Christmas."
" Which is probably why he reads it." Deidara snickered.
Itachi kicked him. " My brother loved that story."
They grew silent as Pein cleared his throat and began to read. It was a dull, monotone voice, but they watched and listened in fascination. Hidan muttered about odd religions here and there, but other than that, just the quiet whirling of the cameraman's video camera.
Angel turned her head to the window, where the tree sat. Snow falling behind it, the lights blinking on and off as Pein's voice went up and down with the story. It was, she realized, a lot more peaceful when soft music was playing and their leader was in the room. Putting a chin in her hand, she gave a lazy smile as Konan laced an arm through Pein's, setting her head on his shoulder.
A soft sigh escaped her, as she sent a look to the cameraman. He nodded.
As the story came to a close, Pein shut the book with a soft thump, set it on the table and looked at the clock. " I suppose it's time for bed."
" Yea. Santa can't come if we're all staying up late! It's bad!" Tobi stated, hopping up and grabbing Deidara's arms. " Come on Senpai! We need to sleep so Santa can come!"
Angel laughed as Hidan walked to the tree to blow out the candles.
The cameraman walked out the front door and into the snow, leaving Angel behind with the camera. He brushed blond bangs out of his face, giving a grin to the pink haired girl standing with her hands clasped, their silver-haired teacher and the blank-looking boy beside him
A shout of 'OMG the tree! Hidan you idiot! Put the fire out NOW!" Kakuzu shouted.
" Don't worry, there's a spare tree!" Tobi sing-songed.
" There's not a spare Itachi!" Kisame screeched.
Naruto laughed, putting his hands behind his head and stepping into stride with Sakura, Kakashi and Sai. He trotted along, grinning down at Sakura. " They didn't even realize I was there." He lifted a hand and waved at a large silhouette, " Hey Jiriaya! Mind giving us a ride?"
Santa Clause Lane by Hilary Duff plays as the credits roll and the snow falls around a now very noisy Akatsuki Hideout.
Topics Of Discussion By:
Jaded Expression of Euphoria
Well Tobi helped. lol
Walking this Christmas
Down Santa Clause Lane
No need to wonder,
No need to explain
Just have some faith in what you see
You're right here where you wanna be
Walking this Christmas
Down Santa Clause Lane.
A/N: Wow. It ended up slightly humorous and more...warmish. -sighs- Christmas does that too me I suppose. Sorry for the yaoi indications. I get into it sometimes. Forgive me. I might actually put up the day after Christmas story, so I can tell you all what they got! lol